And then I want the Baby Dragon
And.. and how about a mouth organ?
Oh and I would reeeaally like an Owleez
Can I have the speed bike too please.
I have always wanted a Superhero,
Nintendo, Xbox, Monopoly and Lego.
Wish I could also have the PS4
Promise, I won’t ask for anymore.
The more he got, the less he thought
The less he thought, the more he sought
Wouldn't take a no, he sulked and cried
What should we do, the parents sighed.
Surely no child sets out thinking that I am going to be an insufferable little tadpole, demanding goodies all the time. No, this child, like any other child came packed with the potential that needed to be unlocked with the help of great experiences. Somewhere, somehow, we started to translate our love for this child into a process of giving him material possessions. Then somewhere, somehow he began to expect those possessions to constantly remain stimulated. And that is how he began to grow. With expectations. With a sense of entitlement. Unfortunately once he acquired the objects of his desire, he moved on to wanting some more. And as the need for material gratification grew he learned that emotional arm- twisting with his parent was a useful tool.
Overindulgence does lead us up this path and before we know it, the monster of ‘want’ begins to consume us.
Give it a thought, just endure
Change strategy, find a cure
Rethink approach, introduce integrity,
Faith, gratitude and empathy
Time-tested values, better there are none
Think about how these, can become fun
Hold off on rewards, give him some time
Realisation does, come overtime.
“Giving children the best is about maximising their potential and not their possessions.” says Dr. Laura. A. Jana, a pediatrician and educator.
Re-scripting isn't very easy I know but children are truly easy to re-direct if you let them know your expectations clearly. Helping them understand that 'No' means No, is the first step forward. When they find the parent helpless against their demands, they simply press on until an 'Ok' is in sight. For every trip out to the grocery store or the mall, if the child is explicitly told that you will not be buying him anything then he will not expect it. However, if you say you will not, and still do so, then that is a recipe for disaster again.
Here is something else to think about:
1. Do not reward them for any task they should be doing anyways. Why does the child have to be rewarded for finishing his homework or cleaning his room or for doing well in his tests? Encouragement does not always have to be in material rewards.
2. Keep just a few of his possessions available to him at a time ( You can decide how many is few).The rest may be stowed away, out of sight and brought back into circulation when needed.
3. For any new attraction bought, the child must donate one from his own choice possessions.
4. Gratitude is a crucial lesson to share. Have the child verbalize his gratitude for any one thing he has once everyday- not for what he owns but for what he takes for granted.
No child decides how he will behave as soon as he is born. His experiences, as he grows decide that. Those are just what we adults provide him with. Do we even realize the huge responsibility that puts on us?